ARRIVERDECCI, ROMA

When we were in Italy last, we decided to take a train from Rome to Florence to spend about a week. The trip is a few hours north and I thought that it would be a great way to see the countryside, particularly the Tuscan countryside. The Little Woman and I boarded a train in the late morning and were assigned a classical compartment type car, a little room if you will. When we entered, we discovered a family was already occupying the compartment, so we shared with this Italian family of husband, wife, son and daughter, kind of like a “Leave It To Beaver” Italian Style. Of course there was no daughter in the Beaver shows, but since Wally was such a fag, he can take the sister’s place on the train.

June sat between Wally who was leaning against the window, and me, sitting next to the door on my right. The Little Woman sat next to Ward and the Beaver who was leaning against the window, opposite Wally. We exchanged nods with the Cleavers and leaned back to enjoy the ride north. Both Wally and Beaver had headphones on and the Parents were sitting very quietly. The trainman came to collect our tickets and we were off to beautiful Florence! As we rode, at the stroke of noon, June opened up this huge canvas bag and pulled out a bottle of wine, and big loaf of bread, the size of a large serving platter, a rather grand size piece of cheese, and a long salami. Out came a knife that was so long, it might have been part of Garibaldi’s arsenal! With the agility of a sushi chef at Benehana’s, she began to divi up the goodies, by first inviting us to join them for lunch. When I declined, she raised the knife slightly, and I realized that maybe I was too quick to say “no” and decline her offer. So “Yes” it was. I really don’t know if she saw me decline, but why take chances with Garibaldi holding a saber.

We finally arrive in Florence and decide to walk to the hotel from the station. This is around 3:30 pm, and before we begin, we decide to drag the luggage that is on wheels behind us. We step out, and have to cross this big piazza, that is 3-sided and lined with hundreds of Italians sitting on the surrounding steps, watching us as we traipse across the square, giggling as we struggle with our suitcases that appear to be top heavy and about to tilt over with each cobble stone we cover. The more they giggle, the angrier I become, and now I’m about to take on all of Florence, and if they want, they can bring in all of Italy! It’s about 90º in the shade, and more humid than the Mediterranean Sea. So my patience has worn thin, and my poor wife, struggling behind me is listening to me as I started barking.

We arrive at the hotel, into this very old building with a modern lobby, and this really stunning brunet who takes one look at us, and smiles. With the grace of a stallion, she takes long strides with bronze coated legs, and steps behind the registration counter. Well, maybe I won’t take on ALL of Florence, maybe just the few wise guys. In very good English she registers us, I smell her perfume and think, Ah, what are a few wise guy Italians anyway, just giggling good naturedly? Cleopatra tells us our rooms are ready, and there is a bar at the end of the lobby if we want to catch our breaths, as someone will bring up our bags to our room. From heaven to earth, just like that, as the Little Woman says: “that’s a good idea!”

Yes Virginia, there are angels. They live in Florence, just keep out of the piazzas.