COME-ONA-GIT-OUT

That was her name. Not Ms. or Miss or Mrs. Come-ona-git-out.

She was the next-door landlady, owner of her apartment house, keeper of the realm, and constant source for teasing or tormenting of my fellow human being. I was not alone in this endeavor, being how it was my older sister who taught me this outlet for juvenile self-entertainment. She in turn learned it from all the other kids on the block. As Mom would say when we did something she didn’t like, but we did because all the kids did it: “If they all jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, are you going to do it too? I find that comment interesting. First: she choose the BROOKLYN Bridge, not just any bridge, secondly; How does she know ALL the kids have to jump to make her statement qualify for it to be remembered?

Come-ona-git-out was the little Old Italian lady who spoke broken English. Come to think of it, that’s all I ever heard was broken English and Italian swear words. What caused us to call her that was that’s all she ever said to us kids. If we were pounding our rubber Spaulding against her stoop for 10 hours a day, for some reason she would stick her head out the window and yell” Come-ona-git-out.” When we ran away, waited for her to go back into her apartment, and then continued on her stoop to pound for another few minutes, she went and got a pot of hot water to throw on us and yell yet again “Come-ona-git-out” while we scattered like a bunch of pigeons in St. Mark’s Square.

We would then go to our stoop next door, pound it for a moment, wait for her to come flying out her window, where she saw us on our own stoop, she would have to go back inside, where we would all laugh our fool heads off, and slip over again to her stoop.

The game of Stoop Ball had 2 very important rules, One rule was to score as many points as possible to beat your opponent, and the second rule was to try to get Come-ona-git-out to come out her window as many times as possible.

We were all really good kids, its just that no one ever told us that, so instead we acted like stinking rotting little bastards.