OUR BABY IS SICK-CLOSE THE WORLD DOWN

Recently the youngest called his Mom at her job, to tell the Little Woman he is home, being sent home sick by the school. The Little woman demanded 20 statements from the school, and a sworn affidavit from the Board of Education, in this regard. She immediately called me at my office to tell me and I relate to you what happened.

My phone rings-
Me: Joe Del Broccolo
She: Hi Joe, it’s me………………Ellen.
Me: Oh! Hi! What’s Up?
She: Michael called: the school sent him home. He threw up.
Me: (Thinking) Don’t people ever throw down, that’s where it goes?
Me: Is he OK?
She: I think so; we’re just going to have to watch him.
Me: You think he’s faking it?
She: No, his Math tests are all over now, who knows.
Me: Any chance we should be leaving the country???
She: No, the police haven’t arrived.
Me: Look, I’m willing to cooperate, as long as the authorities don’t touch my retirement account.
She: You are his father: you have to stick around.
Me: I want a blood test done first, before I admit to that.

Later that evening I arrive home, the little Woman is in her chair, looking worried.
I’m thinking maybe the police came, but no, he’s safely in bed with 101 degrees of pure temperature. I move past the kitchen table where I see a thermometer, a bottle of aspirin, and a Dr. Spock’s “What’s Wrong With My Baby?” book on the table.

Me: I guess no dinner tonight.
She: What’s more important, your stomach or your son?
Me: Does he have to be that important tomorrow morning for breakfast too??
She: I just took his temperature: it went down to 101.
Me: Should we call the doctor?
She: Let’s wait and see how it goes.
Me: Can I wait with a pizza coming too? You think it was something he ate?
She: No, it is something he caught, probably in school. He hasn’t come downstairs since 2:30 this afternoon, when he went to the bathroom!
Me: Well, you know how those things go, when ya gotta go: ya gotta go!
She: He’s coming down now!
Me: Maybe he hasta go! Maybe we should be take precautions; Maybe I should get Mr. Jack Daniels. (Used only for medicinal purposes)

Now I’m starting to feel relieved, no one wants his kid sick.

Me: Heh, how ya doin??
He: Good
She: Feeling better Michael?
He: Yeah
She: Want something to eat?
He: Only a little bit. Do you have some of those veggie burgers left? And maybe a little salad with croutons and ranch dressing? And, Oh, how about a roll with the little black seeds to go with that burger?

Authors note:
Some of this story may have been enhanced because of an uncertainty in some of the details, as it was after the visit by Mr. Jack Daniels that it gets kind of murky.
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An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.