THE CELL PHONE, JUST ANOTHER FAÇADE

Since the introduction of the cell phone, the phone is getting smaller and smaller, yet more and more important than ever before.

The users of cell phones seem to be taking on an air of self -importance that is greater and greater than ever before!

In the midst of all this, I am becoming less and less important than ever before. It seems no one ever calls me on my cell phone any more. If you don’t get at least 3 calls an hour, you are no longer relevant to the world at large. There is nothing like the swagger I see when someone speaks into his or her cell phone, for the entire world to hear.

I was thinking of going to the mall tomorrow, holding the cell phone to my ear, talking into it out loud. But not only talking loudly, but also saying something that makes me sound important.

For instance:
“ Yes that’s right, one million dollars into pork belly futures” or
“ Get Trump on the horn and tell him we have a deal, but only under MY conditions” or how about “tell Steinbrenner I’m willing to make a deal if he can fly up to New York today to sign off on it.” Of course I could throw in an FBI reference, or even a Presidential line or two.

Using the cell phone requires that you be able to carry it on your hip or belt, making it look like a gun or some kind of important instrument. How you wear it is just as important as how you us it. I notice that a lot of young ladies can walk, chew gum and reach into their pocket book, pull out the phone and dial all with one hand! Of course they would be talking whether or not they had a phone in their ear.

I carry my phone just for show or emergencies. A flat tire, or hunger, and I want to be able to call for AAA or Pizza Stop on a moments notice.

Men seem to be the biggest abusers of the phone in a public place. Using some of the yuppiness of the past, looking so in, that they must make everyone sick as they speak up, swinging their elbow for punctuation and emphasis.

If I was to give you my cell phone number, would anyone of you call me, say tomorrow at 10:00 am while I sit in the middle of the mall? Please, I need the importance.