SUMMER IS OVER-GET OVER IT

Those crazy hazy lazy days of summer are gone. They came quickly and left just as fast. I WILL NOT MISS IT AT ALL.

Yes, I know you think I’m crazy, but I don’t like to sweat, and the heat slows me down. All day long I walk slow, trying not to even jump to conclusions.

A goodbye ceremony was held at RFK Stadium in Washington, DC for the manager Frank Robinson of the Washington National’s baseball team. A Hall of Famer, with 51 years in baseball, and I thought that I should have a retirement ceremony for the 2006 Summer.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you with the end of the 2006 Summer. Mr. Summer, you have done so much for the people of the Northeast this year, allowing us to sweat, having to buy clothing that reveals we are indeed getting fat, and most of all the high price of gasoline that you subjected us to. Endless bar-b-q events, eating the same salads and hamburgers, franks and beer that we ate every week, frantic rushing around to co-ordinate a cookout filled my heart with joy. The countless lawn mowing, yard cleanups and watering have left us ever mindful of your presence. The joy of raking, sweeping and bagging full our hearts with eager anticipation as we bid you a fond farewell. And who can forget the men and women in their shorts and short dresses, tank tops and muscle shirts, revealing ugly tattoos and rolls of fat that helped to keep us from overeating as we gazed upon their presence. Not to mention the endless sound of rudeness as people chit-chatted on their cellular phones to the annoyance of everyone around them. The stores, office buildings and public places, all at sub-zero temperatures that caused all the ladies to wear sweaters in July, complaining it is too cold. Like a hot car seat, maybe burning your palms on a steering wheel? All that has to wait until next year.

I can’t wait for the next person to say: “Gee, I can’t wait for summer.” I have a pointed object I’d like to acquaint them with.