SAND IN MY HEAD!

I went to the doctor yesterday for my quarterly checkup. The good doctor is trying his best to save me. Save me for what, I don’t know?

As I entered his waiting room, the place was empty, except for the ladies behind the desk.

“Joe Del Bloggolo” I announced.

“Did you change your insurance and have to make the doctor change his vacation plans?” asked the woman.

“No, still Al’s HMO.” I stated.

I sat down for about five minutes, when they announce my name like I was sitting in a crowded room.

“JOSEPH!”

I look around and no one else is there or named Joseph, so I get up and follow the woman. Problem is she races to the examining room, and being there are about ten rooms, I lose sight of her. After poking my head into a few rooms to the chorus of screams, I finally find her.

“Leave your stuff here and pee into a cup in the toilet. Joseph.”

I think, ‘Thank God she asked me to do it in the toilet!’ I ask her not to call me Joseph, since only my mother calls me that, and only when she is threatening me, even at 91 years of age.

I deposit my cup, and sit in the examining room,

I sit on the examining table and read two scenes of the Glass Menagerie, by Tennessee Williams. Still no doctor! I get up, play with his instruments, check out the steel drawers, think about maybe helping myself to a few tongue depressors, and maybe a few band-aids, when the good doctor, Dr. Know enters.

“How are you today?” asked Dr. Know.

“I’m fine, except,,, about a month ago, I got up from sleep one Sunday morning, and felt dizzy. That night I went to pick up a newspaper off the floor, and almost fell over!”

“Hmmm… you have a condition that is called dizzy in the head with the chance to fall over.”

“Oh!”

“Yes, I think it is an inner ear problem. You see: what happens is there is tiny sand particles in the middle of your head, that give you the balance you need, and the sense of space relationships.”

I think that space relationships I can relate to, being how some of my friends may be from out of space.

The good doctor continues, “Do you feel dizzy, like you are going to fall over?”

“Yes! Like I’m drunk, without the fun!”

“I’m going to send you to an ear, nose, throat and big left toe doctor to check it out, just to be sure.” The last time Dr. Know sent me somewhere to “just to be sure”: I had a by-pass operation.

Please remember my brother-in-law, John, and all those who need our prayers, and a special prayer for someone who could use a little of God’s help suddenly.