KNOWING MY PLACE

It’s happening a lot lately. The dopey dog gets up at 3 AM and I am nudged to let her out to do her business. Once I’m up, I can’t seem to get back to sleep! I start thinking about things and soon ideas start to flood my mind, then before you know it, I’m on the computer, at 3:15 am!

I shower at 5:30 (A public service), and dress and go downstairs for my coffee. TLW (The Little Woman) is usually patrolling the kitchen doing her thing. She usually rises by 4 AM, fully charged and loaded for conversation, suggestions, and more orders than a discount house with a fire sale going on before Christmas!

It is my duty to stand at attention and listen. This morning was orientation for the new toaster.

“Now this button is for bagels, you have to push it for bagels.” Sweeping her hand downward and pointing at the next button; “and this one is for warming things up, while this button allows the operator to defrost things like frozen bread and bagels.” I continue to feign interest, wishing to only get a cup of coffee.

Finally, squaring off and look at the dials she begins to expand on the features of the temperatures: “One and two are for light toasting, three and four are for medium, and five and six are for well done. Please note that there are two sets of toasting slots. You may use one or the other, both simultaneously, or not, is all this understood?”

Me: “Uh huh, but can I use the extreme left hand slot, along with the extreme right hand slot? Or can I use the two inside slots? Or, is it okay to use the outside and inside combinations without a bagel and toast combo, necessitating the use of two different slots temperatures?”

TLW: “Your parents withheld a LOT of information from me before we were married, didn’t they? I wonder if it is too late to get it under the “Freedom of Information Act?”

Just like a woman, questions, questions, questions!