WHY MARRIED MEN LIVE LONGER

Now that #1 Son is engaged, I am reflecting more on my married life, and what has happened to me. For instance, the other morning, TLW (The Little Woman) was busily replacing the sheets on our bed. I noticed that it is, or can be a big job at our age, and decided to help her. She tossed me a pillowcase and watched me struggle to get this pillow covered. The pillow is very heavy, and is one of those therapeutic types that are supposed to be perfect for sleeping with. It runs about a couple hundred bucks, but I don’t like it.

TLW deftly slipped the pillow into the case, while yours truly struggled to get it done. Laughing at me (That is not nice!) she watched me struggle then rescued me from myself. Almost instantly, smugness aside: the pillow slipped into place, perfectly.

Of course I have to now spend the rest of the day realizing that she got it done and I didn’t. But I’m a man, and can cast these little disappointments aside: I just don’t talk to her.

I’m like that a lot! For instance, I can’t wrap a present. I am a trained designer, use to making prototypes of all kinds, with precision cutting, yet I can’t wrap a present. It looks like I had a catch for an hour with Yogi Berra with it!

I once tried to fold laundry like TLW. Forgeddaboutit! I couldn’t replicate her sharp creases, tight folds and neat piles. No, I had loosely folded clothing that look like it needed to be folded. It doesn’t stop there. There are countless instances where TLW does the mundane: I never ever paid attention to it!

So how is it that married men live longer? Their wives alleviate the frustration, is how we live longer. Without TLW, I would have at the least harmed myself, if not killed myself from frustration!

You look at her, you would think she needs help, yet she knifes through problems like they were soft butter! Me, the butter is frozen hard and it is slice bread I am buttering!

The help is good, but the strutting, oh the strutting!