GREETINGS

She entered into the lobby, drifting in and out of sleep, strapped in a wheel chair. She slouched in her chair eyes rolling and her face serene. She wanted to stay awake, and she looked like she had too much to drink. But it wasn’t drink that made her drift so: no it was medications to calm her from the self-inflicted fright from something she did not understand.

Two people accompanied her to this place, where I sat waiting in anticipation of her arrival. The two people entered the large and cavernous building, one pushing the wheel chair and one cutting to his right to sign in. The woman behind the wheel chair knew me and waved almost immediately. We exchanged pleasantries and I accompanied her to a sitting area, where other people waited their turn in wheel chairs too.

My daughter Ellen was at the UCP clinic for a dental checkup, and in spite of the sedation she was under, I knew it would be hell, and I would probably pay that bill.

Slowly her curly head with black ringlets started to stir once more. I sat perfectly still and held my breath, not wanting to disturb her. Her eyes, started to flutter and her long eyelashes battered up and down, as if she was now switched on.

At first, she did not know where she was, and confusion overcame the landscape on her face. As she searched around for something familiar, her darting eyes settled on me. There was no reaction at first, then: as if on cue, her eyes brightened in recognition, but she could not get the strength to rise up and greet me. She rose from her chair slightly, and fell back. She knew I was with her, and that she would not be alone anymore.

Making sounds with her mouth, and no words coming forth, she was able to express how pleased she was to see me once again, clapping her hands and clicking her tongue. If she were freed from the chair, she would be hugging me, pounding my back and pushing me out the door almost saying: “Come on Daddy, let’s go home!”

As good as she made me feel, she also made me regret what was to take place. Once again I would betray her joy and trust in me. And when I was finished, not only would my heart be broken, but my spirit, and body as well.

A child like Ellen, who by the way is a 38 year-old woman, inflicted with Angelman syndrome, can not speak, and very rarely can express herself. She neither understands things, nor has the capacity to do so. I impose my feeling into her mind, and we both suffer for it.

I took over the wheel chair as we rolled Ellen into the examining room, and omitted the dental chair for the ease of keeping Ellen still, and comfortable. The examination would take place by a very pleasant man, one who had such compassion that he should be considered for sainthood.

As he bent over to look into Ellen’s mouth, he gently greeted her and told her what he planned to do. She blankly looked up at him and laughed. I introduced myself, explained who I was and how she did not understand and he asked me a series of questions. Then the fun began!

As he pried open her mouth ever so gently, she chomped down of the poor man’s fingers, and we had to literally grab her jaws and free his index finger! He gave her a sedative after calling the nurse at Ellen’s home, and she began drifting.

Confidently, but with some caution, the good doctor began to pry open her mouth, reach in to exam her gums and she clamped down once more, like a slammed door. Once more I reach over to get his fingers free, as she is now working on mine, as I yell: “Save yourself, doctor!” Fortunately neither one of us is hurt enough, and we are both free. Ellen is now flailing about, the wheelchair somehow comes unlocked and she is moving it into the nurse, shins first! Feet kicking higher than a Rockette’s, she is determined to do away with everyone, in one kick, and almost does.

The dentist, shaken up and badly mauled by my little girl, suggests I get her to surgeon, instead. As he flees the room, I thank him and bend over my daughter to see if she is calmed down. She grabs me around the neck, laughs and pounds my back! Another one bites the dust!