NO FADED MEMORY

Every year, once a year I am reminded. It is one of two anniversaries that bring sadness and a lot of contemplation, as I see mental scars that never go away. They say you can deal with it through time: that time heals. Maybe.

I am reminded that as a father I must forgive when my children make mistakes and remember when they don’t. And so the two dates are like a renewal to love your children no matter what they may say, no matter what they may do, and no matter what they may do to you.

It’s funny how two dates can control one’s life. They are the times that I calibrate my life with. The Bible says there is a time for everything under heaven. It shows me that time is needed to heal, but not for faded memories.

Those two dates are his birth date and the day he passed. One was a great day of joy and happiness and one was a day of great sadness and longing. He never made it to his 2^nd birthday, but his second birthday began the process that transformed my life of one of self pity to one of getting up and doing for others. He is a reminder, along with his sister that I am needed, that others less fortunate in life are struggling to survive.

I know in one hundred years no one will remember me, or care that I lived, but if they are in a position to enjoy their lives because something I did trickled down one hundred years later, than I am happy, and I feel fulfilled, my life was meant something.

So 33 years later on my son Joseph’s birthday, I remember him and I dedicate his less than 2 years of life to all those that have developmental disabilities, that suffer from a loss of their child, that suffer cancer or old age or loneliness and rejection.

I have created a blog called Ellen’s Way, after my daughter, that I hope informs people and helps them with issues and helps them understand other people’s issues more clearly. This is my way of honoring her, and my son Joseph reminds me like an icon of the work I need to do yet.

http://ellendelbloggolo.blogspot.com/