SHE FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON!

TPFP, TOOTS II, AND TOOTS I

Throughout American history we have had Jessie James, Bonnie and Clyde and Ma Barker, but never in the annals of American Crime history has there ever been anyone like The Princess of Foxwoods Points (TPFP)! AKA Pat, she has been using a disguise as a bank teller at the Wanna-Be-Bank & Truss Co., posing as an ordinary housewife and mother, but in actuality, a notorious archenemy of the U.S. Park Rangers.

This news came to all her ‘friends’ as a shock when at Ellis Island; she was suddenly surrounded by US Park Rangers, and surrendered meekly, while hiding in the cafeteria cutting into a sponge cake.

It all started when she signed up for a guided tour from of the baggage room of the museum, and having a fetish for old luggage, asked: “Is all this luggage on display the actual thing?”

Demeanor, our tour guide, a US Park Ranger, scratched her beard and replied: “WHAT WAS IT I SAID ABOUT THE LUGGAGE AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS TOUR?”

Being how everyone in the group of 20 people had heard Demeanor say: “This luggage you see is for exhibition purposes only, it is NOT the real thing.” When TPFP asked the question and we watched Demeanor’s eyes roll and her blood pressure rise, all her friends, that is her husband Bill hung their head in shame, someone even suggesting that she go stand in the corner.

But if that wasn’t enough for her friends (her husband Bill) she decided to defy the Rangers once more when they stated that there were to be NO food or beverage on the main floor of the baggage exhibit. Sporting a hot chocolate, she was signaled out by a Ranger and told to leave the area.

As we progressed through the exhibits, TPFP decided to live on the edge, and once more take it to the US Park Rangers, WITH THE SAME CUP OF COCOA! Suddenly a squad of Rangers surrounded her, pistols drawn and a plastic bag for her to deposit the hot chocolate in, as she bolts for the cafeteria, the Rangers in close pursuit.

All her friends (Her husband Bill) stood in shock! “I told her to ditch the cocoa, that she would get arrested or worse, wind up on DelBloggolo! But does she listen to her friends?” (Him)

TPFP WITH US PARK RANGERS AND HER LAWYER SHIFTY CHEATEM AFTER HER APPREHENSION

Finally the ordeal was over, as the Rangers led her out of the cafeteria in cuffs, still holding the knife she was trying to cut the sponge cake with.

As we left the harbor and passed the Statue of Liberty, I sat back and read the inspiring inscription every immigrant read as they entered this country, but it had a new twist to it.

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses, yearning to breath free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest tossed,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

But tell princess Pat to STAY HOME!”