TYING ONE ON

Traveling that is. I hate to pack and I hate to travel in planes because of the nonsense in the airports.

Packing is a real issue for me. I always pack myself because I know what I want to bring, and TLW (The Little Woman) has enough to do herself. I count the days I will be away and have to dress that morning which is my magic number. I now read all the labels since I don’t want to make the mistake I made once when I was younger and still living.

I was in the Crown Plaza Hotel in Albany, NY one year and was dressing for a formal dinner. I reached into the closet and took out my shirt and put it on and started to button it when I noticed the neck was too tight! I knew my head was fat, but I didn’t think it got that fat. Looking in the mirror the proportions of head to shoulder were still 2:1, so I figured the head wasn’t the issue. (Well, in this instance, anyway) So I tried to button the shirt at the top once again figuring maybe things had gotten better since I looked in the mirror. Suddenly, like the Holy Spirit visiting upon me, I saw a vision! I was trying to wear my son’s shirt, not mine! TLW had put his shirt in my closet that I packed thinking it was mine!

AT LEAST HE'S PRESENTABLE!

It was Saturday night in mid-town Albany for God’s sake, no clothing stores near or open for that matter. They close Albany on Friday Night and don’t open again until Monday when they put back the traffic light and the cleaning lady is done sweeping and dusting the street. I was supposed to meet people in the grand ballroom for cocktails and I didn’t know what to do. Then Dad, dear old Dad, came to mind. Dad hated to wear ties, and didn’t own but one, which he never fully knotted, wearing his shirt top button opened and the tie loosely around his neck. This made Mom happy that at least he was “Presentable”.

I put the shirt back on and button all the way up to the next to top button. I put on my tie and tie it, slightly loose but enough to make me look like my shirt fits! As long as I don’t raise my arms above my waist while standing, it fits. As long as I don’t take my jacket off it fits.

MOM! I’m presentable!

There’s a lesson here wives, just because your husband may dress slovenly, he WILL pass it on to your son!