BLACK FRIDAY!

It was the morning after Thanksgiving, the day marked on all retail calendars as: “Black Friday!” It is also the day marked on TLW’s (The Little Woman’s) calendar as “Shop ‘til I drop” or on my calendar as: “I’m in trouble!”

I started off the morning by coming down for my coffee after my shower and looking around for TLW. She had gotten up somewhere near Four in the morning, and I awoke to her movements. They were not her usual orthodox movements of a woman getting up for coffee and breakfast, newspaper reading and watching the news then showering and dressing for work. These movements were almost stealth like in fashion and cryptic to her usual patterns of preparedness for a workday. I gave it a moment’s notice then rolled over and assumed the sleep position once again.

As I roamed about the kitchen and den, peeking around corners looking furtively for her, I was ready to callout when I noticed the note on the kitchen table. I had two choices: 1) I could go to the pharmacist and have him read it to me, but that was too early in the morning, or B) take out some of her old notes that the pharmacist had interpreted and transcribed from Manningese into English and make comparisons to try to interpret by myself. I did the later and was able to come up with the translation to some degree.

She was out on the hunt, before 6:00 AM! Of course this information brought me down on my knees, first in shock and while down there, in prayer for my financial soul. Recovering enough, I went to the coffee pot and drank right from the pot, not waiting for it to finish brewing.

I'm afraid, very afraid!

After 7:30 AM, I started to get suspicious that maybe she turned cougar and ran off with some young stud across the border to Mexico. (She would NEVER go to Canada, she is always cold), leaving me to pick up the pieces of my pathetic life. The horror of that reality kept rolling over me, eating alone, cooking for one, talking and, listening to myself and other such horrors.

The very idea that I had the remote control, and would have to operate it without supervision, watching baseball, football, basketball and God forbid, even hockey sent shivers up and down my spine!

Then suddenly after 8:15 AM, the phone came alive, shaking me from the deep dream-like sequence of the new reality, sharply interfering with my perception of NEVER having to watch the fat content again in my meals, or doing another poster for her 2^nd grade religious class!

“Hi Joe, it’s me, Ellen.”

“Hi!” (This is a moment when I am most proud of Mr. Reynolds my old English teacher in high school)

“I decided to go straight to work since I took so long. Oh! By the way, I know what you can give me for a Christmas gift this year!”

And so you have: “Black Friday” in the Del Bloggolo household.