I VISIT THE DOCTOR

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Da Patient

Every three months, I get the chance to visit the doctor, whether I want to or not. He is my primary care physician, Dr. Strangeglove.

The receptionist asks me if everything is the same in terms of coverage, and then asks me for my phone number. Now I must say she is quite attractive, and so I gave it to her, then she asks for my cell and I give her that too, with this suggestion, or caution: “Just keep in mind my wife may get suspicious!” She laughs and I then go on to tell her: “Not so much that I am cheating, just worried that someone who works on her doctor’s staff would have such bad taste!”

I am led into the examining room when in he bounds while I am reading from my Kindle, and asks: “How are you today?”

Dr. Strangeglove

“Well, that is what I want to find out.”

I see that he looks like he lost some weight, but I won’t got there because I didn’t.

He goes through the usual incantations and pronounces me fit. “I’ll see you in three months.”

Being how I am starving because I had a blood test, I decide to go to the MacDonald’s nearby on Portion and Hawkins Road. I order the bagel with steak and eggs and a coffee. (Milk, no sugar)

I am about to bite down into this thing of beauty when my cell phone rings.

“Yellow?”

“Mr. DelBloggolo, this is Dr. Strangeglove. Listen, I just checked your cholesterol from August and I want to maybe change your medication from 40 mgs to 80, not that it is bad but I want it better.”

“OK, you want to change the prescription?”

“Well, in May it was very good, but in August: not so hot, but nothing to worry about. Call me Monday and by then I will have the results of the blood test.”

And so went such a delicious steak and egg bagel at Mac Donald’s, ruining perhaps my whole weekend’s menu choices.