I GET A TICKET TO RIDE

I don’t know what I will do with myself. I broke the law!

Yes, in a moment of mad passion, rushing home to TLW (The Little Woman), I couldn’t bear another moment without her more than necessary, I, me, broke the law. This goes right up there with the Duke of Windsor giving up a kingdom for a woman he loved!

Oh, it can happen I guess, but that is no excuse, I broke the law.

Caught in the act!

TLW was little perturbed, and quite frankly, a little too vocal for me. Anticipating a long lecture, with my head down, feeling like I did in second grade when Mom caught me with my hand in the cookie jar (I was resting it), I decided I would get the drop on TLW. I took out my wallet and opened it. (The last time was I think in 1973 for a candy bar,) I painfully removed $80 cash and put it in the envelope the good news came in.

It was a beautiful day, as I meandered out to the mailbox, wondering when I would be getting the ticket, since it had been a few days already, and the monkeys at the county office were getting my money, and sure enough there it was, with a nice red stripe to tell the postman: The moron who gets this is paying up, HE broke the law.

All I could imagine was the look of disdain from his baldhead.

The dreaded hour came. TLW walks in and of course goes straight to the mail, straight to the envelope and straight to my pride.

“WHAT’S THIS? OH JOE, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME!”

“Well there was a grace period, the last one was almost 2 years ago! I put the money in the envelope.”

There is suddenly a calm, a peace that descends down my humble abode and even humbler head, the trial over, case closed, convicted as charged by both Suffolk County and TLW.

You think she would say: “Oh no, take this money back, we are in this together” you’d be wrong. Do you think she would forgo the lecture and say: “Hey, it happens, what can you do?” Without sounding redundant, you would be wrong, once again.

And so I go, $80 lighter and a little sadness, perhaps dismay that I broke the law.

There is a lesson here boys and girls. If you want to end an argument quick, have the cash. (She’s like a crooked politician if you ask me.)