I hate going to doctor’s appointments. I usually wait and
sometimes the wait takes a long time. But the wait is not as bad as is the
personalities of some of these guys.
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| Dr. Strangeglove |
Now my GP, Dr. Strangeglove, has the personality of a
bi-polar political grouch. Yes, he seethes over the latest Liberal policies and
if I say the word ‘Lawyer’ he goes into a rant, a rave and insurance companies
have no place in civilized society. They should all be rounded up and shot,
preferably with one bullet! (He’s fiscally responsible too.) A visit does not
go by without some statement of despair about the direction this country is
heading. He has a beautiful black Mercedes-Benz parked on the grounds and
threatens to close his practice because all the culprits will soon put him out
of business.
Then there is Dr. Haveaheart, my cardiologist. He is another
breed of doctor, replacing an old-timer who retired from old age. The good
doctor has a very modern approach to taking care of my heart, conducting his
examination with a question and answer period dedicated to extracting guilt,
and family history out of me. For instance:
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| Dr. Haveaneart |
“Do you exercise?”
“Yes, caution.”
“I’ll take that as a no.”
“Do you have a history of heart disease running in your
family?”
“Yes, my father was always helping people and I did most of
the work.”
Finally there is Dr. Seemore, my eye doctor. He owns some
fancy title as an ambassador to some board or what not. He wears a grayish blue
suit all day with the jacket on, is a specialist in diabetic matters and
eyesight. He once suggested to me that if anyone was to offer me anything over
the holidays, to refuse it saying I am a diabetic and can’t eat it. Obviously,
he’s never seen me eat.
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| Dr. Seemore |
Today I visit Dr. Seemore. His assistants will do all these
preliminary tests: he will come in, jacket on, tie in place, and sit at the
small desk and read my file, ask me questions and comment on how I’m doing. He
always asks the same question: “What is your A1C number?” I will lie, since I
don’t know it, and praises me for doing so well, and off I go to eat something.
This has been going on for years. I make sure to always give him an occasional
near border line number to avoid suspicion.
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