WAXING PHILOSOPHICALLY No.1

You’ve all heard the old question that has been plaguing mankind and his wife for ages: ‘If a man speaks in a forest, and there is no woman present, is he still wrong?’

Well Dear Readers, I’m here to answer that question and put your inquisitive minds at ease, once and for all!

To assume a man has found his way into the forest to begin with seems to me to be presumptuous, and needs clarification. After all, depending on the time of year, there is baseball, hockey, football and basketball to be played in the friendly confines of his den or living room. Why did the man stray into the forest to begin with? Was she nagging him, maybe created a honey-do list that was too long to read? Did she suggest her mother was coming for a visit, or was it that the gentleman decided to take a small vacation away from the little woman to clear his head and sooth his headache?

Now it has been suggested by many a hen-pecked husband that she is and always will be right while he will bring nothing but disappointment to her, causing her to think that his mother did not do such a great job, and she is left with picking up the pieces. In recent years, people that cohabitate are doing the wrong thing, they should not “Live in sin”, after all you shouldn’t have the milk and the old cow too. My answer to that is leave it the way it is, this is a test run, seeking vital answers such as: does she snore, does her mother come often, is she a whiner and most importantly just how bossy will she get? It is a wise man who can garner such information before committing himself to marriage and the risk of being committed.

What about the assumption about men being wrong all the time, what about that? Is there any truth in assumptions that are pronounced rather loudly by the female camp? Well let’s look no further than chapter one, verse one, Adam saying to Eve, in a forest no less: “Don’t touch those apples!” Need I go on?

Adam had it easy, no mother-in-law, no unexpected visits from her relatives, no need to hide out or seek refuge from things that need taken care of. A wise man watching a ballgame once told his wife to oil her mop because it was making too much noise, and to this day I look up to that man with admiration for his wisdom and courage! I would never say that, because I’m not quite sure how it will go over, maybe I should ask TLW (The Little Woman)?