SHORTCUTS

For 17 years I drove back and forth to Port Washington when I worked for Publishers Clearing House. In all that time I would ask how people got to work who lived out east as I do.

As you know they named the “Long Island Expressway” the “LIE” for a very good reason. Traffic was (and still is) so bad on the LIE, that even the local radio stations would not report on it east of the NYC – Nassau County line. The reason there was a failure to report the traffic conditions was that conditions changed so rapidly. The electronic “Million Dollar Signs” were even worst. They would report that “Traffic is moving well to exit 39”, when in fact it was stop and go at best. When the radio station such as WFAN did report traffic, and it was wrong, people would call in to Imus asking what LIE they were reporting on?

Most took the standard route. LIE to the Searingtown Road exit, and straight up Port Washington Blvd. to Main Street, then a few hocus pocus turns and you are there. But the joy of going home in the evening was marred by the fact that it took so long to get out of Port Washington. The trick was to spend as little time as possible on the highway, and then on the local roads around Port Washington.

In my desperation to emulate Christopher Columbus and find a new passage to the “East” I was introduced to the CB radio, and went by the “Handle” of “The Graphic Eye”, to get the latest reports on what was ahead of me, and the recommendations of other CBers. As I experimented with new ways around the town, some seemed more preferable than others, and it made me feel that I WAS making better time. I would prefect the different segments of my daily trips until I hoped to get home 5 minutes before I left work. Of course that never happened, but given another 17 years of trying, I’m sure I would have done just that. Honest.

And to all you nose pickers behind the wheel – STOP IT