GOD, HELP ME!

It seems whenever we get company, TLW (The Little Woman) gets ambitious. That is, she finds the strength to make me busy. I am a man of piece. A piece of cake, maybe a piece of chicken, even a nice piece of candy, and I am happy. TLW likes to give me a piece of a mop, and a piece of a dishrag or duster, and of courses a piece of her mind.

#1 Son is arriving soon, and that means we have to make room for her baby. That also means a piece of the house has to be made ready! This all started many years ago when we went to Smithtown General Hospital to pick him out. There were a number of baby names available, but we choose Anthony. I wanted to name him Wahoo, after the NY Jets linebacker, Wahoo Mc Daniel. For some reason, TLW didn’t care for it, so we decided on ‘Anthony’. We felt ‘Anthony’ went well with the last name we had! The car, and the house we were staying at, at the time were all made ready for “Little Tony”, or #1 Son. Besides, ‘Anthony’ was what they used in the warranty. So a piece of the house had to be made ready.

TLW suffers from ‘Early Morning Madness” a disease that she inherited from her mother. This affliction only occurs when we are having overnight guests! It struck once already this year with the arrival of her family, (complete with temporary furloughs granted by wardens) their parakeets, a voodoo doll and an Irish setter that bayed at the moon before 5:00 AM on Tuesdays! This time, #1 son is bringing a friend home, so once again the affliction has struck! I’ve tried medications, sedatives, and finally had to go back on Jack Daniels Manhattans, until it passes. I don’t know WHAT to give her.

At the stroke of 1:00 AM, TLW arises, like a phoenix from instead of ashes, blankets! It takes her a few moments to rise, since the blanket coverage is so heavy, and it takes her two hands to push them off enough to kick off the rests. Lying semi-conscious on the stripped down bed, I watch as she begins her day. She then proceeds to clean the bathrooms, upstairs and down, the windows, the floors, a load of wash and two cars, and this at a neighbor’s house! She then proceeds to awaken the local rooster from his slumber at the Tzeszdieskiski potato farm! (Nice Polish people that give me free potatoes!)

Like her Mom, whenever she can’t sleep, she cleans the house! The thought of cleaning a house would make me sleepy, at any hour! Me, although I don’t nap, do rest my eyes. TLW learned to rise at the crack of 1:00 AM to do housework, from her Mom; I learned to rest my eyes at the crack of housework, from my Dad. I like my Dad’s traits better.

Please remember my brother-in law, John, and all those that need our prayers.