OH, MY LOVE, MY APPLIANCE!

TLW (The Little Woman) and I have a pact that we break every time! Whenever we think about buying something, whether we need it or not, we say: “Now, we are just LOOKING, We are not buying today, just looking.” Then, after we sign the purchase agreement we say: “THIS is the last time. Next thing we buy, we are just looking first!”

Take for instance, our oven. It is a policy of mine to always establish a good relationship with all the appliances in my home. Since appliances have been known to turn on me, I have learned not to curse them anymore, at least not in their presence. However, that does not mean I can’t harbor resentment towards one or two. For years, I have disliked my oven. I admit it, I often say there should not be room in one’s heart for hatred, but I really hate the oven. Recently it started to act up, and refused to broil my steak! I will not tolerate, ever, stubbornness, not from ANY appliance! When we bought it, I hated it. I wanted a stove top with a griddle on it, but TLW said, and I quote word for word, over 12 years ago: “NO!”

Looking back, all those years of having to play musical oven with the darn thing, wishing for a griddle, I was like a relative in a will, waiting for the “old man” to die! Then, suddenly, when I least expect it, IT DIES! Yes! Dead, D-E-A- D, dead! Oh, happy days!

So, up the next morning, we swear fidelity to our slogan: “We’re just looking” and immediately buy a brand new GE, with a griddle that runs down the center. This is better than Christmas and birthdays. Soon, sometime today, they will arrive and takeaway the old Whirlpool, that pathetic excuse for an oven. The burners never worked properly, the darn thing made a lot of noise, and I now will get a GE, with a griddle, oh, what happiness!

Please remember all those that need our hopes and prayers, including my brother-in-law, John.