The other day I was speaking to a young man about life in general, and things that were of mutual interest. It seems like his desire was to impress upon me that he found my life ‘awesome’. After every statement I made, his response was ‘awesome’.
Me: I fell down the stairs, lost my eye and threw up on a nun!
Him: Awesome!
I stole from your mother’s pocketbook.
Him: Awesome!
Your sister is doing tricks at the pier for fleet week, and I’m getting a cut of her profits.
Him: Awesome!
You get the idea. Of course, these things never really happened. I call the use of such phrases: “perfume phrasing” that is, phrasing used to overly impress, and sound “Cool”. (I’ll get to that in a minute.)
Through the years, perfume phrasing has been in use in different forms. Years ago “getattahere!” was the common response. If a statement was believable or not, the response was “Getattahere!
Hi! I just moved in across the street.
Him: Getattahere!
Your girlfriend and I want to use either here, or the back seat of your car for a few moments.
Him: Getattahere!
After enough people did get out, the speaker realized he was losing a lot of friends and changed his response to: “Cool”. Yes, everything turned cool, in spite of the fact that the ice age was indeed over long ago.
Help! My house is on fire!
Him: Cool!
Don’t mind me, I’m just installing a car bomb under your hood.
Him: Cool!
There were some people who were in need of a second chance. Their response to life’s ills was: “GIMMEABREAK!”
Doctor: “I’m sorry, I don’t know if we can save your leg!”
“GIMMEABREAK!”
Finally, but before “awesome” came “Like Wow!” And “Like” itself, being interjected before every word.
I was caught in the middle of a herd of elephants, was stepped on and, Like Wow!”
Like, hello?
All, perfume phrasing, brought to you by those with a lack of imagination.
I find it: like awesome.
Please remember all those that need our prayers, including my brother-in-law, John.
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