MY SUCCESS!

I have discovered the secret to success. You wonder; “WOW! Will he share it with me?” That my dear reader is a resounding: “YES!” The secret lies in lying! That is correct, lying!

For years, my Dad struggled to get a good lawn under his feet, and the best he ever got was mushrooms! When I would point them out, he would stray from the topic at hand, and tell me that all the ‘old’ Italian women knew how to pick the good mushrooms from the poisonous types. He could have taken it a little further and said that the mushrooms were a harbinger of a great lawn. But, no, instead he left the subject up in the air!

So, following the same tried, true conditions for starting a lawn, for the first few years, I too, commented to #1 Son about the old Italian ladies that knew the difference. Then one year, while depositing some seeds the had blown off a neighbor’s replanted lawn, I looked at the assortment of crab grass and lumps of lawn, and said: “THIS, is not my lawn!” in which I turned on my heels and retreated to the comfort of my easy chair, and slept the morning away. Then one day, LO and behold, (I still don’t know what that means or why I use it), there in front of me stood a lush, green lawn! Of course, I panicked, and worried that I had slept in someone else’s house. This would look bad in the police report, and TLW (wouldn’t be too happy either!

I looked down at the lawn and proclaimed: “THIS, is not my lawn!” The next few days that followed, the lawn was getting greener and lusher looking. Once again, I bellowed: “THIS, is not my lawn!”

The lawn believed it! It started to grow at a record pace, greener and taller! The lawn crew would come, mow and the next hour later, even if the crew mowed in Spanish or English, the lawn grew, once again greener and taller, because it thinks it’s someone else’s lawn!

As far as mushrooms go, there are none. No mushrooms! Oh, I looked, high and low, and no mushrooms.

So every morning, when I step out to go somewhere, I pretend not to look at the lawn. After all, why would I, “THIS, is not my lawn!”

So if you come to my house, watch where you step, it could be someone else’s lawn!

Please remember all those that need our prayers, especially my brother-in-law, John.