You have to call a niece and ask her how long she’s been married, so you can calculate the age of your suit!If it falls below your waist, you can’t see it.
Your chin is now rubbing your toes.
You’re cooking with gas, but the trouble is you have an electric stove.
You pray the screaming 2 year-old kid with his parents will fall out of the aircraft.
You fall asleep on your chair, the first thing in the morning, after a good night’s sleep.
Your wife is afraid to awaken you because you might be dead!
The word ‘sex’ brings a smile to your face, but you can’t recall why.
You remember when… what was I saying?
A 50 year-old looks like a kid.
You read the obituary about a 93 year-old who passed away, survived by children in their 60’s and think: “Wow they’re old!” and realize they’re your age!
You bend down on both knees to do something, and your knees fall asleep before you do.
You need help to get out of your chair, and wish there was someone to help you out of bed!
You have less sight, hearing or taste, but pain is increasing.
The older you get, the slower you move, but the faster you age.
You have to read this with glasses.
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