BRAGGING RIGHTS

I happen to have a colleague who I travel with into the city on occasion to conduct business. A genial fellow, mild mannered and pretty smart, and a little older than me, we get along just fine.

However, there is one thing that he does that made me decide to speak up. It seems he has a son who is getting married next year, and his daughter-in-law to be is his main topic.

“Rachel this and Rachel that. She works in a high-end jeans company. Rachel can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Yes it is true that Rachel can stop a speeding bullet with her bare teeth, and has more brains than a Oxford class reunion!”

Having to sit through this once or twice becomes painful. Not that I wish to deny him the pleasure of a great daughter-in-law (DIL), but come on, he is not the only one on this planet.

I decided to speak up.

“Oh, yeah? Can she make a kindergartener smarter? My Courtney can, and yes, she can cook, tell jokes and play scrabble like a champion, all at the same time!”

Him: “Who’s Courtney?”

“Who’s Courtney!? Why she is MY future daughter-in-law, that’s who! Not only does she teach kindergarteners, they are future Harvard and Yale grads! Not to mention future CEO’s and Picassos. Did I tell you Courtney is becoming an artist? Guess not, she is so talented I have to learn more than one language, because when she speaks to you, she sometimes slips into French, Spanish and Italian, while throwing in some Mandarin AND Japanese! Smart woman, that Courtney!”

“Son how come you never mentioned her before?”

“Well smarty pants, if you must know, she is very humble, and we had to sign a waiver of bragging form, get it notarized and signed, stating that her talents go unheralded by yours truly.”

“So you managed to keep it a secret?”

“Oh, sure. Did I tell you she’s beautiful, too? I think I DID mention it somewhere.”