The other day I came home from wandering around the neighborhood, and as I ascended the staircase, there at the very top, with a sheepish smile on her face stood TLW! (The Little Woman) I wondered why she was standing in the doorway to the bathroom when I noticed behind her. Behind her stood walls, bare of any wallpaper that was there just a few hours before. I know when I exited the bathroom the last time I fully expected to see the wallpaper later. Had I known, I would have said “Goodbye!
Gone was the brand new wallpaper I had just put up 16 years ago, and now I will need to do it all over again. Looking at TLW, I enquired: “WHA Happened???”
TLW: “Wallpaper is out of style!” she boldly announced for my edification.
Me: “But I liked it!”
TLW: “You know we want to sell this house, so we need to be up-to-date!”
Me: “But I liked it!”
TLW: “No rugs and no wallpaper, all out of style!”
Me: “But I like them.”
TLW: “You should be grateful that I keep you up to date, saving you from the old fashioned, and up-to-date HDTV policies I now so avidly follow. Aren’t you glad I got rid of the wall paper?”
Me: “But I like it!”
TLW: “But NOW, you like this better We (We?) need to strip the walls!”
Me: “But I like them!”
“We (We?) need to take off the backing from the wall paper off the walls, we (we?) will get some stuff to do it. It will be real easy, you’ll see. (I will?)
So up to my armpits I stood one Saturday in pieces of wet sticky paper, with glue and gel sticking to my fingers, hands aching from holding the scrappers, feet begging for mercy from the climbing of the ladder and twisting and turning. When I was finished, I cleaned up the last of the debris when TLW appeared.
TLW: “I see we (we?) finished the walls!”
Me: “We (WE?) did?
TLW: “Now we (we?) can get an application to clean the walls of all the glue.”
We (me) are tired. I hope we (me) don’t have too many more rooms with wallpaper on them, because if I see any more stripping, it will be with a Jack Daniels Manhattan in hand and tucking into a g-string a few bucks!
No we won’t, we’ll (me) be too busy painting!
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