It was a sign of the times, and a love thing between her and me. Every time I heard her voice, I thought: Let it be me. For over two years she colored my world. She told me to never sleep in the subway, and with her angelic voice called me darling.
I was in love with Petula Clark. My dreams took me to London, and the whole world was becoming one big dream of just Petula and me, all alone in our magical world. Once I graduated from college, the dream faded and a new dream took its place.
But I had all her albums, knew all her songs, and could picture her singing them to me. Just Petula and me. I loved her and she would learn to love me, and life would be good.
Then one day I found a new Petula on the LIRR and we married. And what do married couples do? Why they go on cruises, to distant places, and so did TLW (The Little Woman) and me. And on this one cruise, who should be headlining the show one night? Why who else, Petula had found me! After all these years she had found me, finally.
And so I eagerly went to the show and from our vantage point from mid-theatre, she looked the same. At the end of the show, she started to sing and interact with the audience. She reached out to this one guy, who REFUSED to take her hand, after she offered it! I was astounded, and so I inched closer to the stage. I was now within reach, and she would see me, and I would have to explain to TLW that this was bound to happen, it was meant to be, could she understand?
But as I got closer to the love of my youth, something happened! She was wrinkled and old! WHERE THE HELL WAS THE RETOUCH ARTIST? MY LIFE WAS A SHAMBLES OF CONFUSION AND DISAPPOINTMENT.
As we went back to the cabin that evening, between the sobs of disillusion and whacks of shock, I looked at TLW and said: “I want my money back from that show!”
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