IT’S HOW WE LOOK AT IT

I’m sure all of you have heard of David Arquette. If you haven’t, he’s the dumb ass who divorced Courtney Cox. Yes, I know, should he even be allowed to live?

Well the scuttlebutt is that he looks like #1 Son, who IS married to a Courtney. I guess if you look like them you have to marry a Courtney. This is a major deal, particularly in TLW’s (The Little Woman) family, where this was brought to our attention.

It seems that her family spends a lot of time trying to figure out who everyone is, and if they figure it out, who else does that person look like. This makes for interesting conversations at Christmas time when they complain that David Arquette didn’t send a Christmas Card this season. Talk gets around and before you know it, poor David is an outcast.

My family on the other hand doesn’t think that way, because of famous people like Saddam Hussein, the current midtown murderer, an ass pincher and a slew of Polish relatives we have developed over the years. Our motto is: “If you don’t know them, they won’t stay to eat!”

When we first married, TLW had her own way of talking. “I feel like roast beef today!” she would say. (She may have been undercooked!) “He has the divel in em” What’s the divel???

TLW’s family has a habit of what I call: “Sing songing”. Whenever they say something, they sing it partially, ending each sentence on a high note. It sounds like a tune up for an opera when they get together.

So one night we are watching Dancing With The Stars, and who’s dancing but #1 Son or David Arquette.

“Look Joe, look who’s dancing, the one that looks like #1 Son!”

“Yup, sure looks like #1 Son but what a Dumb Ass!”

“JOOOE, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!!!”

“Yes Dear. Funny he don’t look as much like #1 Son as #1 Son does!”