THANKSGIVING

What I'm really thankful for

Being who I am, I decided to think about what I am thankful for in this great country of ours.

• I’m thankful for the fact that when I leave a room and forget where I’m going, that I can find my way back to the point of departure, I think.

• When I drive down a narrow street, and there are cars parked on both sides of the street opposite each other, and as I go through that spot, the car that always comes the other way doesn’t hit mine.

• When I get on a line at the bank, and the tellers are all out to lunch, I’m thankful that I’m not carrying a gun.

• I am so thankful that the moron who is texting while he is driving, is driving slow enough not to kill anyone, me included since I am behind him.

• I am thankful for the fact that I am not allowed to eat everything, it is bad for me, but I haven’t died yet from eating it anyway.

• I’m thankful for reruns on TV, because TLW (The Little Woman) always, and I mean ALWAYS seems to interrupt the part I really want to hear that makes a point, or is a funny line.

• I’m thankful for the fact that I can now put a portable phone next to my plate. It means I don’t have to get up during dinner when I get a solicitation on the phone, and can say “hang on, I’ll get him.” And just put the phone down and eat while he is waiting on the other end.

• I’m thankful for being hard of hearing during some brutal sermons on Sunday.

• I’m also thankful for sunglasses, I can wear them and sleep during those brutal sermons.

• I’m thankful for TV commercials, they give me a break from some of the inanity on the scheduled programs.

• But all kidding aside, besides this great country, and those that defend it, I’m thankful for you, I love you all.