IT DRIVES HER CRAZY!

TLW (The Little Woman) and I pulled out of our driveway, the rain threatening to come down in buckets as we begun our trip to Cape May, NJ.  The GPS and Stella, the lady that lives in the GPS spit out her instructions to me.

“Please follow the highlighted route.”

TLW hates Stella. They haven’t spoken to each other since TLW and my #3 sister got lost one night coming home from Connecticut and found themselves on 5^th Avenue in NEW YORK City one night. The two women talked so much and so loud that poor Stella, in her defense, tried to get a word in edge-wise and couldn’t!

Knowing how to get to the main highway, I don’t follow it exactly, knowing a shorter route.

“Recalculating, recalculating! Please follow the highlighted route!”

TLW starts to talk to me and Stella begins again.

“Recalculating, recalculating! Please follow the highlighted route!”

TLW starts to talk again when…

“Recalculating, recalculating! Please follow the highlighted route!”

I get annoyed and yell at the GPS…

“Stop interrupting, bitch!”

“TLW: “WHAT!?”

Me: “Not you,” pointing to the GPS … “Her”.

As I pull onto the service road to the LIE, I jump on a street sooner than Stella prescribed.

“Recalculating, recalculating! Please follow the highlighted route!”

TLW: “God she's annoying, I can’t stand her voice!”

Me: “Now, this is a long trip, can’t we all get along?”

TLW: “You are the one that called her a bitch!”

Stella: “Recalculating, recalculating! Please follow the highlighted route!”

There is a moral in all this boys and girls; no woman wants another woman to tell her man where to go, and TLW has been telling me where to go for over 40 years!

Here is another moral: no man can listen to two woman at the same time, because he will feel like he’s already been where he’s been told to go to in the first place. It feels like Hell!