You’ve all heard by now about Google’s opening
up their top-secret data center. With its miles of wires and loads of data, it
is the data cloud of the world, all-powerful and all knowing, a scary place
indeed.
I’ve always been impressed with that kind of
thing. When I was in Washington D.C. last, I visited the FBI building and
wondered how many sets of MY fingerprints they have, how many photos and any
records of mine they may have filed. However, there are scarier places than the
FBI or CIA or even the KGB, let alone Google!
My wife’s pocketbook.
That’s right: TLW (The Little Woman’s)
pocketbook scares me. I have never been in it and often from a distance marvel
at the way she may extract information from it, documents, phone numbers and
special equipment. She on occasion will change bags, and does that with a hired
sentry at the basement door standing guard while she transfers the thousands of
documents and records she has!
OK I exaggerate, maybe not thousands anymore,
she does clean out on occasion.
There has to be a full line of cosmetics in
there that date back to 1971, including Youth Dew, her favorite perfume at the
time, an old extra Valium she used to slip in my coffee right before I purposed
to her, plus her list of promises I made in a fit of passion and all my
mistakes, listed in date of occurrence, and cross-referenced by an alphabetical
listing. Including in the files are the things she says I didn’t listen to her
about, the things I should do and don’t and the list, her favorite, of the
things I should have thrown out, going back to 1963 and still wear.
One night I went downstairs for an aspirin (a
lot of married men do that), and passed her pocket book. Suddenly, in the dark,
I heard a whirling sound and realized it was a motion detector that activated
her pocketbook camera (infra red, heat detecting) all in her pocketbook!
But if she ever decided to open up the bag to
the public, it will be like one of those little circus cars where about 20
clowns climb out, the amount of material will be staggering!
You are probably wondering by now why I wrote
this, well in all honesty, I had nothing better to do. Just ask TLW.
But don’t go near her pocketbook!
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