PUTTING YOUR TROUBLES IN PERSPECTIVE

Some people suffer from heartburn, or constipation, or even the evils of psoriasis, but me, I suffer from algae. Every morning this summer I arose to look into my pool, only to feel the shame and guilt of having algae, knowing full well that those around me with pools might be witnessing it and thinking: “What is going on in that pool?”

Going INTO my local pool supply place, I feel the need to sneak in and avoid contact, but darn it, some salesperson, usually about 19 years old will come up to me and loudly ask: “CAN I HELP YOU?” In a low voice, barely audible, I say I need help with algae. “YOU HAVE A ALGAE PROBLEM?” This is followed by my surveyance of the store and his “FOLLOW ME!”

The young man gives me about $2,000,000 worth of chemicals, testing a water sample I give him and pronounces rather loudly: “YUP, YOU GOT ALGAE!” With the chemicals comes a printout about 50 pages long written in 6 point Futura Condensed Light, detailing what I need to do, when to do it and for how long.

After about a ½ hour of hauling the chemicals to the car, I then unload these big plastic containers, bottle and sacks of chemicals, from the car to the shed where they will be stored. I am determined to get this to work!

I think: “Tomorrow.”

I go inside, sit in my chair and take a nap, for tomorrow will come too soon and the algae will still be here with me in my pool.

The next morning dawns bright and hot, and oh yes, throw in some humidity, a perfect day for the pool! And so I open my chemistry kit and begin the process of mixing, pouring and measuring and dumping, some into the skimmers, some into the pool itself, it tales all day. As evening settles in, the task in over, I will look in the morning and witness the results.

Morning comes, the water is clear and perfect, I will go into the pool in about 12 hours to give the chemicals some more time. It rains that afternoon. Yes rain, with wind and I know what that will mean. I go to my files and call the pool guy, “Come close the pool.” “Why so early?” asked the pool guy. “BECAUSE IF I BUY ONE MORE CHEMICAL IT WIL BE A DEVORCE AND I WON’T BE ABLE TO EAT UNTIL DECEMBER. AND DON’T WALK, RUN HERE!”

And so I look out at the pool one morning and see the cover, stretched nicely across the pool, the day overcast. The pool guy said I should in about a month pump some water out of it to keep the level at a certain height. “But don’t worry, it looks like a good month before you will need to.”

That evening begins the worst storm in history, leaving 15.5” of rain, flooding the world and considered a 500-year event! Guess I’ll go pump the pool.