WANTED: FOOD CRITIQUE JOB

I was thinking, why should I hide my real talent, that of enjoying food? Having eaten all my life, at the tender age of birth until a moments ago I have always eaten, refusing few meals. I have talent; I should use it.

There are a number of places I could go to and apply. There are the newspapers, who could use some good food critiques like myself, there are the TV stations, that have the visuals to fortify my opinions and of course there is the Internet, and even the radio. Why with my face I’m a natural for the radio!

Through the years growing in Brooklyn, I was often seen with a knish or two, strolling along Pickin Avenue among the Jewish shops. My experience included eating roasted chestnuts, sour pickles and Nathan’s hot dogs, not to mention ruggala and bagels! 

Coming from an Italian family, my experience was wide and vast, on any given Sunday afternoon, you could find me digging into a brazziol, beef and pork, meatballs with raisins and pine nuts, sausages, all kinds of pastas and pastries of all kinds, in one sitting. Be it Northern or Southern Italian, I’ve eaten it all.

Put a burger in front of me, and I’m as American as apple pie. Steaks chops and even stews will find my experience as I have eaten it all. I have walked on the dangerous side too, with sushi and can eat Japanese, Chinese, Thai and anything the Asian world sells in America.

My dedication is so great that I have learned to cook, can cook anything and will innovate in the oven, Bar-b-q or home on the range. I am fearless. I’ve created tradition such as the Polish Big Mac at Easter: Kielbasa on rye with red and white horseradish, smoking good and tearfully enjoyable.

Give me that company credit card and I will enter any restaurant and give it my own rating system: 0 to 5 Dels: 5 being the best. But I will be dedicated too. I will do my homework, yes, that does mean ‘take-out’ and will sup on heroes, subs or grinders, depending on where I am.

I’ve watched all the cooking shows to the point that they don’t surprise me anymore, but I do surprise myself in the kitchen, give me the opportunity.

I say just give me a chance, let me show you what I got and I promise you, a more dedicated worker you will not find anywhere.