I CLOSE MY EYES AND I PRAY

We finally got the news I was waiting for and it isn’t pleasant! My daughter Ellen has colon cancer! It is like whistling past the graveyard and getting a ghost, a cold severe shiver and a cold blast of air that consumes your heart and soul.

With all the physical problems Ellen has, to add this to her seems a bit unfair and cruel. Why? What did she do to deserve such suffering?

When they did the colonoscopy they discovered the large mass at the end of her colon. They stuffed a tube down her nose to feed her the liquid that was supposed to cause her to clean her bowels and instead, because of the mass they discovered, it backed up and will not get by. They did it a second time and succeeded. So, the surgeon will cut her open and remove this mass by hand and explore around and see if there is any more that needs to be dealt with or not.

She has not eaten in almost a week, she is sleeping and in severe pain, so they will do the operation on Friday morning first thing. I got what I wanted and now I fear for what I’ve gotten, what I will be putting her through and all I have is hope.

Ironically, when Ellen was born, we became parents that did not consider ourselves like everyone else, and for 47-years we feel the distinction and wished we didn’t have to, and now we are fighting tooth and nail to retain that distinction so that she will live.

With all this misery, tell me where is God? Does he know that an innocent person has suffered so much for all of her 47 years? Whatever the crime, she must have committed it before she was born, and is paying for that crime even until Friday and later.