Dear Dad,

It’s been a while since I wrote last. The landscape you knew has changed drastically, the World seems a little more unsettled and chaotic. The good news is that what lessons you left me to stay in my heart and soul.

Your ability to transform sadness into a perspective that says: La vita e’ bella, still holds. Some days it is tested severely and my knees bend from it, but I straighten my back and push forward because like you taught me, there is a tomorrow, we must carry on.

Being how poor you were there wasn’t much in terms of inheritance of material, but my God, the inheritance of  “La vita e’ bella” you left me is profoundly lasting. Your pure joy of having your family about you celebrating our favorite holiday, Christmas Eve, was one of your gifts to me. I spent one finally in 2017, right before my beautiful daughter-in-law Courtney passed while giving birth to your great-grandson, Robert Courtney. Along with, my daughter-in-law your beautiful great-granddaughter and my granddaughter Darby Shea, I felt the joy of all those Christmases you so enjoyed for the first time in my life!

Today is your birthday and being 103 does not fade my memories of love, you were always there for me even in the worst of times.

You loved to make people laugh and people loved you. You gave when I didn’t think there was anything you could possible give, then found out what you gave was of yourself, your greatest gift. I remember how proud you were when I went to college, a dream you never had yet you were so encouraging and helpful that it gave me the impetus to do so under trying conditions until I graduated. I remember the many poor people you helped when their lives were on the downswing, helping you paint or repair and encouraging them, many a day off or weekend we did this side-by-side.

I remember how much you wanted me to introduce Ellen my future wife to Grandma Frances and how proud you were of my choice, making me know that indeed I made the right choice for my future. Your excitement of introducing her to the whole family was so important to you it made me proud of her. And they all loved her.

One of my biggest regrets is that you didn’t live long enough to witness your namesake’s success. Every night I saw your grandson’s name on The Big Bang credits I’d think of you and how proud you would have been and the fact that there would have been no living with you! I see #2 son Michael and all he does now for a living, helping people with disabilities live meaningful lives, in the same spirit, you exuded and know you would be even prouder. I am.

But most of all in all this is your granddaughter Ellen, who the past two years have been tried as has been my patience. You loved her more than you did your daughter; she is innocent and loving, yet with her multiple disabilities shows such fight. Since I wrote last she has fallen and broken her leg, had to have an external fixator then a rod inserted for the broken bone. Then she fell again and had a brain bleed, then another fall causing her a partial hip replacement, followed by colon cancer, then pneumonia and the insertion of a tracheotomy. In all this she has been confused scared and frightened yet has fought through it all with needles that poke her, tubes down her nose and throat and in her stomach from an ileostomy. She fights on and continues to smile and love like you would have wanted her to.

Someday I’ll write to you about the Mets and Jets, but one pain at a time.