THE QUESTION

Once upon a time in better days

Yesterday my wife asked me if I thought my daughter was not going to make it and I answered her in the affirmative. She hasn’t eaten or drank much, she is extremely skinny and boney, her legs look like a bad anatomy drawing. She is sleeping most of the time and does not engage us at all.

My wife and I feed her a shake mixed with Coca Cola because it is the only thing she takes now, 350 calories is it, in the morning and sometimes at lunch. Some days she only takes some of it.

How much do we hold off the inevitable and admit to the truth? We watch her helplessly as she fights any attempt to feed her, adjust her position in the bed, give her medications or engage her.

We come home totally disappointed, downcast, fearful and worried and add to our steady diet of anguish and emotional pain.

A while back we made plans for her burial and it is with her grandparents who so dearly loved her and I’m sure would have welcomed their daughter’s plan for her child as I do.

Someone once made mention of the fact that I said she was slowly dying as she is and I will not deny it, but dismissed it as an exaggeration. Some shitty exaggeration, as I watch her disappear in every aspect of her life.

Don’t waste your time praying for her it doesn’t work.