I WAS CONFUSED!

The day dawned promising. TLW (The Little Woman), SS-I-L (Sicilian Sister-In-Law), Angela and TLW’s baby brother Dennis and myself headed out the door of the condo we were staying at to explore the winter wonderland called Steamboat Springs, in the middle of the summer.

We piled into the rental car and drove to the main drag, to do a little shopping. Visiting local trinket shops. Viewing the T-shirts, pencils, jewelry and other odds and ends called souvenirs, or junk, we headed from store to store. The quaintness of the little village, its charm exuding innocence and cheap junk, beckoned and called out our names.

As we strolled down the street with the summer locals, the theme was skiing and cheap junk. A storefront sign announced a mall, and so we all stopped in our tracks and went in to explore. We were immediately greeted by a fine assortment of souvenirs or as we like to call it out east, junk. Junk is different from crap, which really junk, but spelt differently!

Being how it was after the noon hour, TLW smugly pointed out to me where the men’s room was located. I responded to her that I didn’t need the men’s room, and we continued on upstairs, where they had on display at a certain percentage off the list price: junk.

As we descended the stairs, I decided NOW was the time to use the men’s room. Off I went, breaking away from TLW and the group, I swung into a door, and stepped in the room. A small crowded room, in a very old building, I noticed for a men’s room, it had no urinal. Selecting the first door I came to, I went in and did my business. Finishing up, I was reaching for the lock, I heard a door open, and this old woman is peering into my stall. That is right, peering, not peeing. The old lady, a lot shorter than me, looked in one more time, and moved on.
Then it hit me.

I WAS IN THE LADIES ROOM!

As the little old lady entered her stall, I rushed out, racing to find TLW, while looking over my shoulder. Her husband was half asleep on a bench outside the door. All I could imagine was this lady screaming: “There he is, that pervert!”

As I continued out the building, out she came, I turned my head down, heart beating like a humming bird’s, waiting for the accusation. But this pervert was lucky, nothing happened. I was lucky to tiptoe out of Colorado!