WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN…

I’ll be among them. Until they discover who I am, of course!

Last night TLW (The Little Woman) and I sat down to watch TV (We find it convenient to sit), and she said that there was nothing on. Throughout my career, I was paid well for my ideas, so I gave her one.

“How about we put on the MAD MEN episode we recorded?

Setting up the show, we leaned back to enjoy it. Well, I did, she just leaned back and started to drift off! Watching TLW after dinner is like watching grass grow, you don’t see it immediately, but if you look long enough, it gets taller! TLW drifts off too sleep. But you all know that. Being how TLW had the remote control, it is her job to fast-forward the commercials. After the first commercials ran, you guessed it (didn’t you?) she fell asleep! You must be thinking: “That’s impossible, not TLW! Maybe you, you old meatball, but not TLW!”

Yes, A-S-L-E-E-P! Out cold, lights out, diminished orders, light questioning, but asleep. She can still do all those things in her sleep, just not as much!

So, I started to sit through the commercials, as she slept them off, along with the show. Being a good husband that I am, and loving too, I let her sleep, you know the old saying: “Let sleeping wives sleep.” Finally, the show ended, and the TV started to ask me questions in her place. “What do you want to do with this episode?”

It was time to do either of two things” 1) take the remote, or B) wake her and risk my life. Being a husband, I choose too risk my life once again. (The remote is not considered a sharp instrument),

“Toots, Toots!
Her: “Uuuhycgyad!” Looking surprised and confused. That usually happens only when I say something intelligent.
“Toots, ya gota fix the TV!
Her: “Uh, oh” Stares at the TV, goes to fix it, and falls asleep. That’s A-S-L-E-E-P!

I went to bed: I think she is still down there A-S-L-E-E-P!