WHO KNEW?

When I moved on my block over 22 tears ago, we were one of the youngest families in the street. A little while ago I went to my neighbor Carole next door to pick up my mail. She had an anguished look on her face, so I enquired the source of anguish.

“Carole, you look like you just got hit with a huge tax bill, someone shot the dog, and your daughter eloped at the age of 11! What’s wrong?”

Carole: “Oh, if only it was that simple.”

“Oh!”

Carole: “Joe, me, Alison and Mary are all turning 50 this coming year!”

I could see her upper lip curl as a short whimper passed from her lips.

Crest fallen, she slowly moved to the almost empty bottle of Tequila, on its side, an ash tray spilling over from cigarette butts, and a half eaten cheesecake, speaking volumes about her despair.

“Carole, can we talk about it?”

Carole: “What’s the use, I want my youth back, and I want it now!”

“Carole, put that cheesecake down, don’t do anything foolish! For God’s sake, get control!”

Carole: “Control? You want me to take control! How do I do that wise guy?”

“Carole, it could mean one nasty block party! Just think of all the Tequila shots you can get Richie and me to knock back! Think of the …”

Carole: “Yeah, it could, we could go well into the next millennium with this little puppy, a 50 year old bash, just think of it!”

“Better still, you could call it the ‘150 year old dear old girls celebration!’ Neighbors from around the block will attend, balloons, party hats, Tequila, maybe some cheesecake! Gosh, you could even order a nice box of cigars for yourselves, you ladies will be the envy of the hood!”

Carole: “Well, since you put it that way… do you think the girls will feel that way too?”

“Sure, just tell them there will be cheesecake there, lots and lots of cheesecake.”

Carole: “What if they don’t like cheesecake?”

“Well, the cigars should make them happy.”