THE GEEKS

Recently I entered a store looking at laptops for myself in the future. I’m thinking of getting either an Apple or a “regular” pc laptop to take with me to the library where I can write and concentrate.

In these stores are the “Geeks” who prowl the aisle when you don’t want them, and are NEVER around when you need one. They eventually become policemen.

When you enter one of these places, not unlike visiting your mechanic, you feel somewhat vulnerable. It’s like you got into the store all right, but just realized, you are not wearing any pants! They have all the answers, knowing it all, but you don’t even have the questions. This can be annoying and intimidating.

People watching is what I like to do as a hobby when there is nothing to eat. (As you can see, I am a multi-hobbyist) I can watch people when in a church, a bar or ready to cross a street with busy traffic! (That is usually after the bar visit) In comes this young woman, filled with self-confidence and determination. A geek approaches her.

Geek: “Can I help you?”

Soon to be defeated and made to feel worthless customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a thing to add on for more attachments.”

Geek: “What kind of thing?”

Soon to be defeated and made to feel worthless customer: “You know, where I can put additional stuff into the computer, but I don’t have anymore holes to stick the wires into.”

Geek: “Oh! You mean a port!”

Soon to be defeated and made to feel worthless customer: “I do? Yes, I do!”

Geek: “Do you want an external drive?”

Soon to be defeated and made to feel worthless customer: “Huh?”

Geek: “Are you adding files or hardware?”

Soon to be defeated and made to feel worthless customer: “Huh?”

Geek: “Let me get my boss.”

Headgeek: “Yes, can I help you?

Newly defeated and made to feel worthless customer: “Huh?”

Headgeek: “(Staring into space) We need to know if you are planning to add additional hardware or just files to a storage site.”

Newly defeated and made to feel worthless customer: “Huh?”

Headgeek to Geek: “Take her to aisle 17, and make her buy something she can’t exchange later, with lots of paperwork, questions and complicated explanations about what she gets and doesn’t get. Make sure she signs a long-term contract that will outlive her need for the product, but costs a whole lot more money, that she can regret later.

Totally defeated and made to feel worthless customer: “Huh?”