DelBloggolo: DON’T HORSE AROUND

Saturday, February 21, 2015

DON’T HORSE AROUND

“Spring training has begun for the New York Yankees. Earlier today, pitchers and catchers reported. And next week, I believe, it's addicts and felons.”

-Michael Sperr

To: The Mayor of NYC, the Honorable William DiBlasio

Re: Good Horse Sense

Dear Mr. Mayor:

May I call you Bill? Bill, your behavior lately has been disturbing to say the least. As the 109^th Mayor of the great metropolis called New York City, you are losing it. It seems to me that you should be considering the draw of New York City and all it offers to tourist, especially the Japanese with all their cameras as they flood the world taking pictures. In all the years of history emanating from Gracie Mansion, not one up until you came along: had a problem with the carriage trade and horses.

Hizzonor

Now I know from experience as an old advertising executive, that you need the horse and carriage to carry the brochure. Let’s face it: what could be sexier that a horse and carriage with a young or old couple in the seats, holding hands and the driver with his top hat and whip, with the back drop of the Big Apple? My God, think of the power of a shot with the horse and carriage in front of the Plaza Hotel. This is what draws tourism to your city.

Now I know you are the mayor of the greatest city on Earth, but even Philadelphia has the carriage trade. Yes, that’s right, Philadelphia. Boston doesn’t anymore since they deflated all the horses. I know first hand having taken a carriage ride with TLW (The Little Woman) through the city of Brotherly Love. And to prove that I know what I’m talking about, I took another ride through Central Park in your fair city twice, once in the evening and once on a Sunday morning after a fantastic brunch. The NYC ride was far more entertaining, as I saw either bums or politicians sleeping in the streets and park. I tell you the attraction is great, the realized revenue in the millions every year.

I think your problem is you are afraid that the horses will eventually form a union, and you will be in another fight. You must understand that that is the case for every mayor past. They all worried since Thomas Willet about the union and nothing ever happened.

Because of your attitude, a lot of young Democrats don’t want to come to your fair city for the National Convention, because you might ban the carriage trade. Where are they going to have it? Why Philadelphia of course, where they have the carriage trade, and want a ride on one. You see, your senseless panic is costing you revenue.

Far be it for me to tell you how to run your city as I don’t live in Gotham, but you’re killing me Bill, you are killing me. The pro horse lobby is getting stronger every day, or at least something coming from those stables, and I do know you have a concern as the Jerry Seinfeld show pointed out in one of the social commentaries about nothing, what you feed the horse and air pollution. But that is a good thing, if you don't feed it beans, it is emission free and no carbon dioxides are let loose in the fresh, clean New York City air!

Thank you for your time, and I trust you will act decisively and with urgency in this important matter, so you can go back to shackling the cops.