DelBloggolo: OH, HOW MY HAIR HURTS!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

OH, HOW MY HAIR HURTS!

Acronyms for fun and profit:

N.A.S.C.A.R. = Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

P.M.S. = Potential Murder Suspect

S.P.A.M. = Seriously, Poor Advertising Method!

T.W.I.T.T.E.R. = Thoughts Which I Think They Enjoy Reading

W.I.F.E. = Washing, Ironing, Feeding, Etc.

Being a member of a board of directors, it has its dangers. For one, the office sends me a packet for the board meeting that is scheduled every last Tuesday evening of the month. It generally begins at 6:30 pm and can last as much as 4 hours if we let it.

The so called ‘packet’ contains minutes, and copy of e-mails and copies of letters that someone sent to someone else, and with that come acronyms, lots and lots of acronyms. These acronyms and letters are designed to make my hair hurt and leave me on the verge of suicide. The nice thing is if I do kill myself, someone else has to read the memos and letters and figure out the acronyms.

Now you can read a letter from the OPWDD and that may have been sent to NYSARC, but maybe NYSDOH has gotten one yet and maybe the MSC has a bottle in his/her drawer to get him/her through the acronyms.

These packets are like the weather this month of February, I am getting snowed in and snowed under: it is so bad we need a two-sheet listing of acronyms!

Every meeting is started with a prayer:

“OH God, please don’t send me anymore acronyms, I can’t keep up with the ones on the sheets, and who knows what will happen if I lose the sheets? Of course my colleagues like I will forge ahead not knowing what the Hell they mean. Amen”

Now our leader of the agency, a short rotund man with a heavy lisp and peg leg likes to rattle off the acronyms like it’s his second language, and I once made up an acronym and he told me what it meant. He was right!

I no longer watch TV, and why you ask? Because I can’t watch ABC or NBC or CBS, and the radio, it’s worst! WABC, WCBS etc. you get where I’m going? Yes, to the liquor cabinet.