THE MOST FEARFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!

This is the time of the year when paranoia after 47 years still sets in. It's the time when I worry about getting TLW (The Little Woman) a Christmas present or two. It starts in my sleep. I dream that it is Christmas morning, and I didn't get her anything. I awake with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and the sweats. It is a very down and disappointing feeling! This disappointing feeling stays with me until I get her something.

But the fear does not go away, it never does. When I do get everything, I worry about wrapping it. And if that isn't enough, the card, I need a card to wish her Merry Christmas! (Sorry you sissy-Mary politically correct Holiday downers) What if I forget to make or buy a card? I like to create a card because that makes it special.

I know, I sound ridiculous, but she was the only one I really worried about. Everyone else we thought about together. But the rolls have since reversed a little. Now that she works full-time, I have to pick up the slack.

"What should we get for so and so?" comes out of TLW's mouth like a water over a broken dam! And the question is always a stumper.

But Christmas isn't the only day of the year or occasion I act this way. There is Valentine's Day, her birthday, our anniversary, and so it goes.

I think I am like that because Dad would forget. Mom would become insulted by Dad's forgetfulness and he would look like he stepped in it. He usually did.

This year I haven't started to shop yet. I know what to get, but I have to do it. Talk is cheap, so I better get myself out there and brave all those women shoppers. I feel like time s running out and I am really busy. The Board of Directors, a book I am co-writing and designing, my trips to upstate NY to deal with the Arc of NY and working around the house, writing and other things such as lunch dates with friends, doctor's appointments for both myself and my daughter as her advocate, meetings, and not finding time for myself is making it hard for me. I have never been this stressed out as I now am since I retired.