BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, GO I!

The invention of GPS and smartphones has been very instrumental in keeping me alive. This morning while talking to my wife (She did most of it) I indicated a place of business and where it was located, using a nod of my fat head in the direction of where I thought it was.

This, of course, confused TLW (The Little Woman) since the place

was in the opposite direction from where I was nodding.

“How come you nodded one way when it is the other way?” she inquired.

Me: Nod? Me? What nod?

I am notorious for not having good direction sense. Take me out of my chair and finding the toilet in my own house will take some time. (I am a good dancer)

TLW, on the other hand, will parachute into a strange mall two thousand miles away that she has never been to and be able to find anything in the mall.

Me: “Look, if it wasn’t for the GPS I would have disappeared years ago, wondering why I deserted you while I’m wondering where the hell I am. This is true.

Whenever we traveled by car to some distant faraway place together like around the corner, she gave me the directions, sometimes by reading a road map while I drove. She was amazing she could do that either next to me or from the back seat, a remarkable talent.

Then the GPS came along freeing me up from the chains of confusion and the constant whining of asking for my mother, a real game-changer.

Now, when I enter my car I can guarantee my successful arrival by punching in ‘HOME’. Only recently I did just that and after 5 hours, I realized I wanted a destination from home, not to it. It was like never leaving home!