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Thursday, October 05, 2017

THE NEW SUZY SPOTLESS…

Me!

Yes, I've come a long way baby, and soon I will be burning my bra if I don't retain water! Since I retired TLW (The Little Woman) went to work and left me with the dishes. Being a man when you are left with the dishes is being at a distinct disadvantage.

Woman were trained by their mother's as young girls on the art of how to clean a house, young boys stayed out of the way, the way it should be.

As a husband, entering the field of housecleaning can be an awkward experience. There are ways to do things that you need to know before starting, and I have a manual I refer to called
‘Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Housecleaning' or ‘Ask TLW' The course itself is ongoing and filled with fraught, fear, and uncertainty. It's also not nice.

Suddenly it is "My stove" and "Try not to get anything on the floor!" There is also the issue that I haven't spoken up about: ‘Put your empty used paper cup in the garbage, not on the counter!' I'm not sure who does that: me or TLW, because I have entered the stages of Dementia, Alzheimer's and I forget, too. I'm starting to hear my Mother again, as she reminds me of all those same things.

In the morning when I come home from the gym, I shower, dress and make the bed. Mom used to say: "The way you make your bed is the way to sleep in it." I sleep in it with perfectly lined up sheets that fold over the bedspread and pillows fluffed and shaped and in uniform unity.

Toilet bowls have to be clean, and sparkling with a fresh scent, just like TLW used to do. Sink and counters in both the kitchen and bathroom must be clean and germ-free, and the floors, are always a worry, both to vacuum and to wash, I hate lint on a rug.

Dusting is taking up too much time and is a necessary evil, one that I so hate. I get down on my knees and lift things and go over the tops of the molding and suck it out with the vacuum cleaner, and I hate every minute of it.

So, what have I learned in TLW's stead? I SUCK AT IT!!!

She still finds all the faults I have in my new trade.

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