FROM: HO-HO-HO TO BOOOO!

Yesterday was a strange kind of day, a day that shocked and saddened me, but took #2 Son to get me out of.

I had promised TLW (The Little Woman) that I, the man of the house, the defender of the family, Mr. Tough Guy from Brooklyn would make Holiday cookies this year, along with our favorite holiday bread. Now I said, “Holiday” so as not to offend my Jewish brothers, (I don’t have any Muslim brothers), and in case they came to the house, I could offer them some of the cookies.

As I was baking, wondering what the hell I got myself into, I thought I heard the front door open and slam shut, and someone bounding up the stairs, using both flights of steps. Thinking that #2 Son had come home early from a doctor’s appointment, I decided to ask him what he was doing home so early!

I called him, decided he didn’t hear me, and climbed the steps. I walked toward his room, and knocked on his door, pushed it open and peeked in, only to find the room empty! I started to search the other rooms, and the toilet, but nothing! Only the silence and quiet of an empty upstairs house greeted me. My dog is totally deaf, so she could not possible hear it too and respond like she used to. Is my house haunted? Am I in need of help? Will Harry and Cynthia ever reconcile, stay tuned for more on Days of Our Lives. I know I distinctly heard what I said I heard, I don’t think I’m nuts, and yes, people will argue that, but I heard something very real.

The Mailman came later with nothing but bad news. There were two cards from friends and my tax bill. Being how I am a glutton for punishment, I opened my tax bill first, and you will never believe this, but there was a tax increase to further fuel the incompetence of the idiots that are running the Town, and keeping the schools in fine furs and luxury cars with vacations galore and good times for all school administrators.

Then there was a card from friend that moved away many years ago, sending me Holiday greetings, so that meant I had to send him one back!

Finally there was the card from my mentor, my old pal, and the man that got me started in my first job as an artist, Jack. I have been thinking about him for the past two weeks or so, wondering how he and his wife Helen were. He signed his card “Jack” not “Jack and Helen” like usual. His note just said that Helen wasn’t there to remind him when he did silly things. Helen, the perfect person to marry Jack has died, probably right after the Holidays this year!

Now as I was pulling cookies out of the oven, they were finding their way straight into #2 Son’s mouth, and on top of that, he doesn’t know how it was happening! This is the same person who asked me two days ago: “Why are you decorating? ”When I was sweeping he inquired: “Why are you sweeping?” This boy is the future of my good name, the future of America! But to atone for those questions, designed to get me mad, to push my buttons, to drag on me, he asks me political questions that are: designed to get me mad, to push my buttons, to drag on me.

If you are newly married, and are contemplating having children, I strongly recommend that you rent this kid for a few years, just for the practice. I could be persuaded to throw in a large flat screen TV, either LCD or Plasma, whatever you like.