HEY, WHERE’S MY CAKE?

There’s a fellow I wish you could all meet. His name is David, a blind and physically challenged gentleman who lives in a home for people who suffer mental disabilities. He is a card, a gem unto himself, and a sit down standup comic, who operates and entertains from his wheelchair!

David may not be the prettiest person you will meet, except if we are both in the same room together, but he is the most loveable and endearing. One Christmas we invited David and all his house mates to our home for Christmas Dinner, and when his van arrived, I helped to escort David off the van and into my home. Accompanying David was a stuffed toy dog, about the size of a miniature collie. David has a very gruff sounding voice, but is not gruff, but a large thin man that loves to physically hug people, especially the ladies. I asked David what the dog’s name was, and telling me while placing the dog on the floor told me that it “Shit all over the van,” on the way over. David’s language is very salty, and I love it as the assistants squirm when he uses it. “David, we don’t use that kind of language in Mr. Del Bloggolo’s home” the aide would respond in disbelief.

Imagination is one of David’s strong suits. He will make up the most incredible stories, like how he took the subway to a nightclub and drank champagne all night.

Every October, TLW (The Little Woman) would make David a cake for his birthday, we would go over to his residence and surrounded by his housemates sing: “Happy Birthday” as we all warbled out the notes as bet we could. After the singing, we would cut the cake have ice cream and TLW would get a big squeeze from David, then tears would come to his eyes.

On Sunday evenings, when we would visit his home, he would be either doing “Paper work” or typing. Of course he wouldn’t be doing any work, but would have big basket of old memos that the staff would supply him with, he would stamp, scribble on and staple the papers, and toss them into a box, and pick up more and do the same. I’d ask him: “What are you doing David?” and he would say “Paperwork.” “I got a lot of paperwork to do!” Unfortunately, even those of us who suffer the most, can’t get away from both the stupidity of the government, or being “Politically correct.” It seems one day David had his typewriter out and was typing away without a ribbon. Being blind like he is, he didn’t mind, but there happened to be a state audit going on for this facility that David lives in, they saw him typing and demanded that the typewriter be taken away because it was inappropriate without the ribbon and was not meaningful!

Whenever we visit his house, he asks us where his birthday cake is. What is amazing about David is he can tell you the colors of his different shirts by the feel. Once he gets a shirt, the staff person assisting David would tell him the color, and he would remember it by feeling the sleeves. Next time they gave him the shirt to put on, they would ask: “What color is your shirt David?” and he would answer correctly.

Today David still resides in the same home, still does his paper work, TLW bought him a bell that he rings when his segments of paperwork are done, he even has his own little “office” spot in the large rec room where he lives.