KABANG!

Last evening, I was involved in a great movie starring Paul Rieser and Peter Falk, and it was way past dinnertime, and TLW (The Little Woman) hadn’t arrived home yet from her job. Last night would start her holiday, and she was happy to be going home until after Christmas Day. After a half hour of waiting past her expected arrival time I began to worry as she pulled into the driveway (No one ever drives into the driveway) and announced that she was hit in a minor accident, or fender bender. Fortunately she wasn’t hurt, and that is all I really care about.

Well TLW paced around the kitchen unhappily relating the event and describing the driver as a “little old lady” who “ran the light.” I inquired as to how old and she said about 65. “Whoa,” said I, 65 is not old when I’m almost 62! Watch your mouth lady!

This morning I gathered the clan of mine sans TLW to make the announcement.

Me: “Last evening your Mother was involved in an accident.”
Son #1: IS SHE ALL RIGHT?”
Me: “Yes, she is recovering right now at Macy’s”
Son #2: (He needs a roll in this too) “What happened”
Me: SOME WOMAN ran a red light and dented her front fender.” (A better spin than old lady.)
I then began to express the rules of behavior as to how to refer to TLW.

Me: “There will be no reference to her as Torpedo or Crash or any other names you may come up with.

This statement immediately snuffed out the light in #2 Sons eyes.

Besides, I already told her not to hit anyone on her way out this morning.

By the way, the French Chicken turned out superbly.