AIRPORTS

When traveling throughout the country, the only part I truly detest is in an airport. Getting to an airport is hard enough, with signs that direct you to oblivion, or at least to another airline, other than the one you want. Direction signs are situated so that you need to make heart-stopping decisions; within inches of space and seconds of time, otherwise, around you go again.

Of course, checking in is always a wonder. We had Charlie, who was new on the job, and we were a test for him. Standing behind the counter at 4:30 a.m., one wonders how anyone can cope with the computer, crowds and over-heated building. Charlie was retired, and was trying to see if he could start a new career as an airline agent at that hour. It took us almost a half hour to get a boarding pass.

As we got to the gate, everyone had to strip down to almost our underwear, as we all wore our best socks for the occasion. Of course, #2 Son had to wear one white and one black sock for comedic purposes. Off come the shoes, the belt (chastity belts need to be put in a separate bag) and all metal objects, including teeth fillings. Out come the driver's license and the puzzled looks at those who have to decide: “Yes. This is him!”

Once inside TLW (The Little Woman) decides to announce that she will take an exercise power walk while we wait to board. This is designed to make me nervous, and be a sentry for all the bags. Deep down inside I know she is not walking, but shopping. Back she comes, all walked out, and poorer, but with little fancy bags.

One of the curious things I notice is the people in wheel chairs. They all look either pathetic, or very angry. Ever notice how they stare ahead, not saying out loud: “Boy, I got a ride, yup, didn’t have the hassle of waiting on line to board, either. In fact, I’M going in first!”

Need help understanding all this? Write to; joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com, tell him; Why must you continue this?”