FINDING A WAY - Part I

As TLW (the Little Woman) and I put the finishing touches on #2 Son’s attendance at SUNY Purchase, I can’t help but reflect on my years in college. Attending the New York Institute of Technology: was a logistic nightmare for me.

Living in Bellport, the only way to get to school was via the Long Island Railroad, and my thumb. I took the train to Westbury, and then hitchhiked the last 4 or 5 miles into Old Westbury. Many days I would have to walk if the time of class was odd.

Getting off a train in the dead of winter, after being up all night because I had an after school job that started at 6:00 pm and ended at 11:00 pm, studying all night then climbing onboard a train at 5:30 am; carrying a large wooden box of oil paints, a canvas that was 30” x 40”, another case of pencils, pads, cutting tools, rubber cement and templates, plus an English, Math and Science textbook or a combination thereof; was a hardship. Looking back, I wonder how I ever had the stamina to do so.

I knew I wanted an education, not just an art education, but also a real honest to goodness college education. My college career was my mistress, my girlfriend, my passion and my life. Like any good woman, it was also killing me! No male in my entire family had graduated from a 4-year college, and I wanted that.

One morning, the wind whipped down Post Avenue with a fury and intensity that knifed me in my ribs, freezing my ears, toes and nose. Struggling forward, I was determined to get to classes that day. The night before had blanketed the Island with a white covering that froze solid from the night cold. The sun was glistening off the surface, causing a small headache from the high reflection. The sky was crystal clear blue, and made it feel even colder than it actually was.

Since it had snowed the night before, few students went to class, since most of them commuted by car. A car would be coming by, and I would in one motion turn around and stick my thumb out, and watch as the car continued on its way. Nothing can be sadder than rejection.

Reaching school that day, I entered the building and discovered that morning classes were suspended due to the weather! I went to the cafeteria to buy a coffee, and realized I had no money on me! I threw my books down on the small table nearby and wanted to just stretch out and either cry or sleep, whichever happened first. Standing near by was a custodian, a Hispanic fellow in his forties, arranging chairs and tables. Suddenly, I look up and he is standing next to me, asking me if he could buy me a cup of coffee!

As the day wore on, I spent some time in the library, hung around the cafeteria with some of my friends, and finally attended classes that afternoon. I realized when I was on my way home after my last class: I had no money for a return ticket. I never bought round trips because I was on at peak hours either in the am or pm, which was more expensive than during off peak. Hitching down to the station once again, I got on the train and sat there. The commuter trains heading east during peak hours, no one usually got on. The trainmen never asked for anyone’s ticket, thinking no one got on at Westbury. I would wait for the crowds to mass on the train platform as it stopped, and mix in the crowd, walking a bit to an entrance to a car, and step in, and sit. In those days, people would move from car to car as the train started thinning out as it headed east. Again, for that reason also, the trainmen never bothered. Some nights I went and hid in the restroom!

I couldn’t tell you how many days I went without eating from 4:30 am when I got up until 7 or 7:30 pm when I stepped off the train at Bellport.

When I had my first child, I vowed that she would never have to do what I did, nor any child I had in college. So, today I am proud to tell you, #2 Son, like his brother before him, will reside in a dorm.