PLANS? GOD LAUGHS AT PLANS.

The announcement was made months ago.

TLW (The Little Woman): Lois and I are going to Pearl S. Buck’s home on a ‘Get Up And Go’ tour. Just the two of us, we will be taking the bus to Pennsylvania, I didn’t think you’d want to come.”

Pretending to look disappointed, I immediately started to make plans in my mind, on how I would spend my Sunday. First: there would be getting up after she left for the bus. Second, having a nice breakfast at the local diner, then thirdly, shopping for a t-bone for my lunch! I would get some pepperoni and provolone, put a few beers on ice and tune to the Jets game. It would be a precursor for heaven. My heart was racing, I’m sure if it was from the anticipation or the salt I imagined entering my system. I do know I was feeling good!

Then, just like that my luck changed! My dream world became unraveled.

It started that Saturday night. The phone rung, it was Lois (Toots II, FROM THE WANNA-BE BANK AND TRUSS COMPANY). I answered and didn’t recognize the voice. She asked for TLW, who took the call.

TLW: Who is it?
Me: I don’t know, some woman!
TLW: Hello?
Oh Hi! That was Joe.
OOH, I so sorry!
Oh, that’s too bad!
Well, don’t worry about it.
I hope you feel well.
Me: Who was that?
TLW: Lois, she said she is very ill and won’t make the trip tomorrow.
Me: Too bad. (Thinking to myself) “Nice going Lois. No peaceful ballgame, no big breakfast, no T-bone! You really gotta take better care of yourself!”

Then the coupe d’ grace: Left over chicken for dinner on Sunday!